Top 5 Things to Yell at a Major Golf Event

So today kicked off the U.S. Open, which is my third favorite of the four golf majors. Obviously the Masters first, then the British, and fuck the PGA Championship. With the coverage, I was reminded of my least favorite tradition in sports. For some reason, after a tee shot, with the boom microphone strategically placed on the tee box so you can hear the crisp, cracking ping of  a driver hitting polyeurethane, people decide to yell something that is supposed to be funny. Or shocking. Or will get their friends to say “hey, I heard you yell ‘Saturdays are for the boys’ on cable television. Don’t worry, I DVRed it so we can have a watch party over a 30 rack of keystones on Tuesday.”

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