Book it! WWE No Mercy Predictions & Analysis

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WWE No Mercy brings TWO Wrestlemania caliber matches with Universal Champ Brock Lesnar taking on Bruan Strowman and 16 time World Champ John Cena battling Roman Reigns! 

Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

HBIC: Gotta love Vince on this one. Having Enzo get publicly beat down week after week because of backstage antics, only to get a title shot so he can get further beat down again. No shot Enzo wins. They just wanna keep the public shaming rolling. 

Bologna:  Enzo Amore? More like Dunzo Amore amirite??? Get it? Because he’s Dunzo. That joke was crap but whatever just power through it. I don’t see how or why WWE would decide to reward Enzo with a title after shitting on him week in and week out. They literally trot him out each week just to take a dump on his chest, Neville retains. 

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (c) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus for the Raw Tag Team Titles

HBIC: I was all in on a partial shield reunion but I soured on it now. I was hoping they would at least have some resemblance to the Shield days. I know they can’t come out to their old music cause fuck Roman Reigns, but at least come out through the crowd or something. Giving them separate intros doesn’t seem special. Just seems like they took two guys they had no creative plans for and stuck em together. Just like Cesaro and Sheamus! Same thing with these two. Give them a team name and no more separate intros. I was hoping for more of an aggressive approach from Dean and Seth but its just the same old. I dont care who wins. Just find me a way to get the tag team belts back to the Good Brothers. NEERRRDS!

Bologna: BURN IT DOWWWWWNNNN!!!! That Rollins remix has been the only thing special about the reunion. OK maybe we’re being a bit harsh. I think Rollins has quickly become one of the best hot-tags in WWE. Quick ranking 1.) Cesaro 2.) Jason Jordan (RIP American Alpha) 3.) Seth. Seth’s moveset has worked better as a tag partner than a singles competitor. I don’t know if it’s because he’s finally healthy and confident in his abilities again or if it’s just his style that works better in tag matches. This match should be a good one. Everyone can go and if they give them a solid 15-20 minutes this can be very entertaining. I do think Mini-Shield retain.  

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

HBIC: So no demon. No eater of worlds. Just mano a mano. Boooooooooooorrinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg. Please please please end this feud at No Mercy. Finn wins and moves on to IC title. 

Bologna: With the rumors of another superstar shake up coming, this is my official plead to move Bray Wyatt back to Smackdown. No one on the roster has suffered from the previous shakeup more than Bray. It’s crazy to think that he was Heavyweight champion less than a year ago. I’m with HBIC on this one, Boooooooooooorrinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg. Give me a Finn win and be done with this. 

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax vs. Emma for the Raw Women’s Title

HBIC: Stop me if you heard this one before. Raw has no idea what to do with the women so they just put them together in a 3-4-5-6 way match for the title. I would love for Raw to at least attempt to establish different feuds with the women instead of just focusing on the title. Shit might as well throw Mickey James into this match and make it a 6-pack challenge. Alexa steals the win here. She will hold the belt and be the established star until Askua debuts on Raw and beats her the first night for the title. Book it! 

Bologna: My heart: I can’t wait for Askua to debut on Raw. That’ll bring some life to an otherwise stagnant division. My Brain: WWE will fuck this up so bad. Just like they fucked up Bayley. Just like they’ve fucked up by delaying Sasha’s heel turn.

What sucks about all of this is that its not the women’s fault. Alexa, Sasha and Bayley can all carry a division if put in the right position to succeed. The writers just cant seem to get out of their own way. The only way I can see this match garnering any attention is if they finally have Sasha turn on Bayley. That feud can sustain itself even without the title. Nia, Alexa & Asuka can be in the title matches and I still think Bayley & Banks can headline a ppv or at least multiple Raw’s a la Charlotte and Sasha. so that’ll be my prediction. Alexa wins and Bayley & Banks steal the show… crossed fingers emoji. 

The Miz (c) vs. Jason Jordan for the Intercontinental Title 

HBIC: Although I have sympathy for adopted kids with the initials  J J, I’m not buying into Jason Jordan. He puts on some nice suplexes, but isn’t connecting with the crowd. This illegitimate child angle is a flop. He’s like a 2017 version of Rocky Maivia always smiling and shit. Miz needs to keep the belt. NO ONE does it better. Jason Jordan doesn’t have the promo skills yet to be on that level. Put on a good match, get your kudos and move on. Miz should win and feud with Finn leading into Survivor Series. 

Bologna: Knowing HBIC personally, I can honestly say that first line about JJ is the funniest line he has ever and possibly will ever write. He’s right though. At this moment  Jason Jordan the personality is far behind Jason Jordan the wrestler. If he can put the two together he can be special. But we’ve yet to see it. Miz on the other hand is at the top of his game. What he lacks in wresting ability he more than makes up for with his whole persona. He is the perfect mid card to lower upper card heel. If you look back at the history of the WWE, that position is invaluable to the company. Miz is in the position to make everyone around him look bad or good depending on the situation. Just take his segment with Enzo for example. All that being said, I don;t think Miz and the WWE is ready to make a superstar out of JJ. MIz as the IC champ is too valuable like I said. Miz wins via some classic miz heel tactics.   

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

HBIC: Oh boy. Big big big. Instead of a match, I’d be happy with 20 minute of them talking shit to each other uncensored. Shout out to Roman for swearing on live tv. One of em was bound to do it. Real talk: I don’t think I ever been more engaged in a war of words more than these two. Yea Roman sucks on the mic, but he did deliver some nice one-liners. But Cena is absolutely DESTROYING Roman on the mic. Pure “Savage” as the kids say nowadays.

But back to the match. As anyone whos read our PPV blogs before can attest, I HATE Roman and Cena. Hate their characters. Hate they always have to “Super”, hate they get pushed down our throats. I’m letting the hate flow like the dark side! Gooood. goooooooooood! That being said, If I have to choose one, I’m rooting for Cena. Why? Cause at least he’s done shit. Roman talks about this is his yard, but keeps losing title shots. He’s also a giant pussy who wears a chest protector. Can’t take a body shot homie? Even though Cena is leaving after this match to go film BumbleBee, there’s no reason he has to lose to be written off tv. If Roman wins, fans will just boo him more. 

Bologna: Yo, for as much as I shit on WWE, They’ve been making some fire flames emoji matches of late. Both on Raw and on PPV’s. This can easily headline one of the big four ppv’s but nope. Lets just do it at random ass No Mercy… Me LIkey!!!!  

What makes it even better is that its not the main event. You know Cena & Roman have too much pride. They are going to go balls to the wall to try to out do Brock vs Braun. I might not like Roman as the character but I can respect what he does. You can argue about his same repetitive moves and shit, but the fact is he’s had good/great matches with just about everyone he’s came in contact with. I expect this to be no different. I do think Roman wins unfortunately. But whenever Cena does come back, I think this match will be good enough that we will want to see it again.  

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman for the WWE Universal Title 

HBIC: Another match that can headline Wrestlemania. I thought the plan was for Brock to hold the title until Wrestlemania where he would lose it to Reigns, but now I’m not so sure. I don’t think Brock will be back on tv after No Mercy until Survivor Series and then Rumble. So I think at this point you almost HAVE to give the belt to Braun. His rise has been crazy and he does deserve it in my opinion. I would love a Braun vs Samoa Joe feud once Joe returns. And I def don’t need to see anymore Reigns vs Braun (Unless of course Reigns is getting beat down) Finn vs Braun doesn’t seem plausible. Give me a good 10 min match. And let it be physical. But Braun for the win. 

Bologna:  Demolition derby in human form. That’s how I expect to describe this match. If this match goes longer than 15 minutes someone might die. Give the WWE universe 10-15 minutes of Godzilla vs King Kong and everyone will leave smoking a cigarette types of satisfied. My hope is that Braun wins.  I think it’s finally his time. 

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