Book it! WWE Summerslam Predictions & Analysis

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The 30th annual WWE SummerSlam is live this Sunday from Brooklyn, NY! And features a mammoth Fatal Four Way main event between WWE Universal Champ Brock Lesnar, Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, & Samoa Joe!

Akira Tozawa (c) vs. Neville for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

HBIC: So in case you missed it, Tozawa won the title on Raw this Monday. I had a feeling this was gonna happen cause not many people are gonna catch this match. But its about time someone else became champ. Neville can keep chasing the title and other 205 guys can get a shot at the spotlight. I fully expect Tozawa to win. Side note, Why cant the UK Title get a match on the kickoff show? I mean I saw one match on NXT since the tournament last year. Seems like they have nothing to lose by giving the guys a spot in the kickoff. 

Bologna: I’m so pissed they swapped the CW title randomly last Monday on Raw. My prediction was going to be that Neville finally dropped his title at SS. Now that that has happened, my new prediction is that I will be ordering a pizza this Sunday night. Call your bookies and place your bets. No way this does not happen. Seriously though, I wish they would’ve waited 6 days for the title change. Ah Fuck it… I’m going with the prediction anyways. Neville wins the belt back. 

Big Show vs. Big Cass

HBIC: I honestly could care less about this match. Yes, Cass cut one hell of a promo on Monday, but I can’t get excited against a match with the Big Show. WWE dropped the ball big time on the Cass/Enzo split. After the breakup, Cass should have “sidelined” Enzo for a couple weeks, Have Enzo come back and cost Cass a match and then built up a big stipulation match this Sunday. But instead we get the Big Show. zzzzz. Lets hope this match is on in the 8pm hour so I can watch some Game of Thrones. 

Bologna: This should be on the pre-show. Big Cass & Enzo should’ve never broken up. I don’t care if those two hated each other in real life. They need each other like Big show needs retirement…cheap joke… Cass wins and becomes the new Test. Remember Test? That guy kinda sucked too. Big dumb nobody. 

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

HBIC: Another match I’m not too excited about. They need to built Rusev back up to the monster heel he was, while letting him throw in some of his mic skills. Cause he is pretty funny. Also, Rusev without Lana just isn’t the same. She needs to get back with him. But they need Rusev to beat Randy clean on Sunday and then maybe move on to a short program for the US title? Wouldn’t mind a feud with AJ after SummerSlam.

Bologna: I love how little Smackdown tried with this matchup. Rusev comes to the ring and announces he needs a SS opponent. Cue “I hear voices in my head. They council me. They understand. They talk to me” Done. Start feud. Rusev really needs a win here. He deserves a push. Hopefully this is a springboard match for something bigger.

Side note: I always thought the lyrics to Randy’s song was ” they come to me” not “They council me” I learned something today. I bet you did too. Insert the more you know gif here.

The New Day (c) vs. The Usos for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles

HBIC: I seriously don’t know why the New Day got the titles back. Why? They held em for over a year, then get em back a few months later? The Usos are killing it with their new gimmick and should have been champs rolling into SS. I get there isn’t any other viable tag teams outside of these two but fuck. These guys might just have to fight forever. Breezango will get another shot, but is anyone taking the Ascension seriously? Smackdown is in dire need of tag teams after SummerSlam. But I got the Usos getting the belts back so the feud can be prolonged.  

Bologna: Want to know why the New Day got the SD tag team titles? Here is a legit insider scoop for you all….. THEY FUCKING PRINT MONEY!!!!! Their faces are on the side of trucks, billboards, everywhere. With Cena being a part timer it makes sense that The New Day run with the belts and be the face of the company alongside Brock & Roman. Now, I wouldn’t be shocked if  The Uso’s won on Sunday. This feud has been pretty damn good. Promo’s. Matches. Everything.  I just see The New Day carrying the belts more often than not. 

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

HBIC: Everyone knew that Finn was gonna bring out the Demon King Sunday, I just wish they didn’t have him publicly announce it during Raw on Monday. The fake blood was a nice touch, but when the lights go out Sunday, it would have been much better for the Demon King to come out unannounced. I think this feud has a little bit longtivity left to it. So I expect Finn to win 

Bologna: Speaking of printing money. The Bullet Club are legit making Brinks trucks full of cash with their Hot Topic shirt deal. Dave Meltzer commented how he’s never seen anything like it, If you go to any WWE show you see Bullet Club shirts outnumber actual WWE shirts. With that being said, it baffles me that Vince and the higher ups haven’t seen this and try to do something about it. Obviously they cant call it Bullet Club but for the love of god give me an actual Balor Club already. Once Finn is done with this Bray feud, I want him to set his sights on the belt he never lost. Obviously, It’s unrealistic that he can compete with the likes of Braun and Brock on his own. But a Finn Balor with Gallows & Anderson running a muck. That’s something that any wrestling fan worth of damn can get behind. Finn wins on Sunday. Now give me a damn Balor Club already. I don’t know how many time I have to blog about it. 

Naomi (c) vs. Natalya for the Smackdown Women’s Title

HBIC: I read the reason why they are giving Naomi a lesser opponent is because they are trying to market some “Glow Title Belts” but they aren’t produced yet. Naomi is scheduled to win Sunday and then have a feud with Tamina next. So expect her to hold the title until the toys get made and sold. Don’t expect Charlotte or Becky or Carmella winning the belt anytime soon. Which is fucking stupid in my opinion. Naomi isn’t really doing anything with the belt. She’s the Dean Ambrose of the Women’s division. Side note: Not having Charlotte on a major PPV is a travesty. 

Bologna: Ummm… I think it’s pretty understandable that Charlotte isn’t on this card bro. Some things are a bit more pressing than a wrestling match. That being said, we’re all rooting for Ric to kick out at 2. #GetWellNaitch

I don’t give a fuuuuuuck about this match. My only hope is that Carmella cashes in her MITB and wins the match. Even as a heel, The NY crowd will be 100% behind her to cash in. There are few better pops in wrestling than a MITB cash in. The SD women’s division is in desperate need of a memorable moment and this would be a hell of a one.

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks for the Raw Women’s Title

HBIC: I don’t ever like wishing ill will on anyone, but I’m happy Bayley got hurt. I did not want her back in the title scene anytime soon. Until she drops the hugs and gets a newer meaner persona, I’m out on Bayley. She needs to watch that Simpsons episode where Bart gets Duncan the Horse and then turns him in a bad ass who wins. That’s what Bayley needs to be. Furious B! So what I would like to see happen is this. Sasha wins the title and holds it until Bayley is cleared. Sasha gets in trouble, Bayley comes out to a HUGE pop to try and save Sasha, and then BAM! Bayley heel turn! No one would expect it! Everyone is waiting for a Sasha Banks heel turn, but lets go 180 on the crowd and give us the Bayley heel turn she desperately needs! 

Bologna: I don’t think HBIC has ever predicted a Sasha loss. I’m not sure there is a bigger Sasha fan on the planet than HBIC. Not knocking it. Just stating the obvious. The last time Bliss and Banks fought they had a barnburner and I expect the same this Sunday. The fact that they haven’t shied away from the fact that they hate each other in real life is good for the feud. My guess is that Bliss retains with interference from Nia. 

Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins for the Raw Tag Team Titles

HBIC: Seriously thought the Hardy’s were gonna be at this spot and on the verge of being Broken. But since that doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon, a partial Shield reunion is the next best thing. And also the best thing for both Ambrose and Rollins right now. Rollins belongs in the Universal Title picture, but with the 4 big men dominating it right now, its a perfect time for him to go back to the well. I’m also happy to see Ambrose fighting someone else other than the Miz. (Speaking of which, how the fuck isn’t the IC Title have a prominent match Sunday? They did this shit at Wrestlemania too!) So I say give the Shield the titles, and have it lead up to an eventual Ambrose heel turn. Chair shot right in the back of Rollins in retaliation.   

Bologna: I’m going to be honest here. I had no interest in a Rollins & Ambrose mini-shield reunion. I had no interest until they put their hands together after weeks of teasing and finally did it. When the crown popped and it actually happened, I marked out a little. It was a cool moment.  Ambrose & Rollins need each other right now. Their solo careers have gone from hot to tepid within the last year. A tag title run could bring life back into both them and the Raw tag division. Shield ftw. 

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

HBIC: Me and Bologna had a back and forth on Tuesday about Smackdown. I fucking HATED the fact Corbin lost his MITB the way he did! I seriously thought we might see Nak vs Corbin for the title this Sunday. But to have the guy you want to build up as your next top heel to lose in a roll up is fucking stupid! I’m sure Bologna is gonna give me the “Trash ass Trash opinion” comment, but I stands by what i says. Corbin was screwed big time by creative. I hope he doesn’t get buried. And I sure as shit hope he doesn’t job to Cena on Sunday. With rumors of Cena moving to Raw post SS, it makes ZERO sense for Cena to win Sunday. 

Bologna: The only thing that is trash-ass-trash here is Baron Corbin’s hairline. Oh and also his skinny fat tum-tum. Whenever Corbin takes his shirt off it looks like his belly button is frowning. Like ” aww fuck here I am” 

Tell me that doesn’t look like a frowny face!!!

My guess is that Cena costing Corbin the title is going to light a fire under his ass. Corbin wins by DQ

AJ Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens for the United States Title

HBIC: We already wrote about this numerous times already. They will put on a match of the night candidate. But I expect both of these guys to somehow hit Shane at some point in the match. It will add to the drama. But I can’t see a scenario where AJ loses. After SummerSlam I would like to see AJ feud with Corbin or Rusev. Need something fresh for the fall. 

Bologna: This will be a really good match that we will easily forget about because they’ve had it about a million times already. Shane will cost KO the title and then we’ll have Team KO vs Team Shane at Survivor Series. Or maybe just a one on one match somewhere down the line. I don’t know when exactly but Shane vs Ko will happen.  

Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship

HBIC: There’s ZERO chance Jinder is walking out of SS with the title. Since becoming champ, Mahal hasn’t been showcased properly on Smackdown. He hasn’t really closed out Smackdown with the exception of Tuesday, and has had some questionable opponents outside of Randy Orton. Sounds like the Mahal experiment is coming to an end. Nak needs to be champ and needs to be champ until Wrestlemania, where we can finally get the dream match up of Nak vs AJ. BOOK IT!  

Bologna: I need Shinsuke to knee the fucking punjabi out of that fucking fraud of an Indian. I want Shinsuke to kinshasa Jinder so hard he starts speaking with a canadian accent again. I’m so fucking over Jinder. Give me Nakamura or give me death. By death I mean have Aleister Black kick me in the face. Because I don’t want to ever hear another Jinder promo again. 

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman in a Fatal Four way match for the WWE Universal Title

HBIC: I think one of two outcomes is gonna happen. Either Brock walks out winner. Or they go all in on Strowman. Reigns def ain’t winning till Wrestlemania (gag) and while I think Samoa Joe is deserving of a title reign, I think it time is after Strowman. I expect this match to be awesome and physical. But as with any fatal four way match, its hard to make a prediction. It could go any way… 

Bologna:  Holy Moly this is a big one. Big fight. Big fight feel. Big boys. BIG BIG BIG!!! I’m gonna give you three different scenarios that play out because if case you haven’t heard, this is a big one. 

The one that makes sense: Braun wins and runs with the belt. Brock at one time was named “The next big thing” well in 2017 Braun Strowman is the next next big thing. He’s a had a hell of a year and has catapulted himself into superstardom.

The one that doesn’t make sense: Brock wins. I just don’t see it happening, With so much beef in the ring, It just makes sense that this is the way Brock drops the belt.

Fantasy booking:  HBIC is going to hate me for this…. Roman wins. Roman wins and immediately gets beat down by Brock, Braun and Joe…. But here comes the newly crowned Tag team champions to make the save.  A full blown Shield reunion is the only way you get Roman over as a babyface champion. If you want him to be the face of the company, he can’t do it alone. He’ll get booed out of every building. We’ve seen it happen before. But there is no way even the smarkiest of crowds boo a full on Shield reunion. DId I just get Roman over as face? YUP! Vince should hire me.

 

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